• Mark S. Cookman

20 More Lines of Trash Talk for NPC's


Photo © Chris Reynolds (cc-by-sa/2.0) 

Almost 2 years ago, I wrote a blog entry entitled "20 Lines of Bad Guy Trash-Talk for RPG Fights ". It seemed to be well-liked at the time and I have decided to make some more trash talk for you to use to spice up your fights. The first set was more for classic D&D monsters (Orcs, Bugbears, Ogres, Trolls, etc.), this set is more for swashbucklers and those employing "cutting words". WARNING: YOU MIGHT BE OFFENDED BY WHAT YOU READ. But in the end, isn't that the point of trash-talk? Without further ado, here are 20 More Lines of Trash Talk for NPC's. As always, I thank you for your time and happy gaming!

"I will eat your children."

"Art thou a plague victim? You fight like one."

"I'm gonna kill all of you, but the squat with the big beard. (S)he'll be handy when I need to wipe."

"I would insult you, but nature has beaten me to it."

"What is your favorite flavor of dung?"

"It must have been a sad day for your parents when you crawled out of the abortion bucket."

"If you were any dumber, you'd need watering twice a week."

"I see that it is impossible to underestimate you."

"Two wrongs definitely do not make a right; take your parents for example."

"I thought that I was ugly, but you make me feel so much better about myself."

"You are certainly the best at what you do: disappointing people."

"Hush now. You'll never be the man your mother was."

"I would call you a plague, except that plagues can actually kill people."

"You remind me of the last batch of eggs I had--beaten, over-salted, and burned."

"You fight like a milk maiden."

"Life is hard for the smart and talented; it must be nearly impossible for you." 

"OK. Who left the bag of idiots open?"

"If stupid could fly, you'd be a hawk."

"If I want anything out of you, I'll squeeze your head."

"Hey, I found your nose. A pity for you that it's up in my business." 

I hope you enjoyed this collection of trash talk. Next week I hope to bring you more treasures from the sea. If you do enjoy these blog entries, please check out my page at DriveThruRPG by clicking here . I thank you for your time and support. 


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