Mark S. Cookman
20 Curses from a Roma Matriarch
Yesterday, I inadvertantly offended some people and I want to apologize. It was never my intention to offend; I was unaware that "gypsy" was a derogative slang for the proud Romani people. I believed the term "gypsy" to be a generic description, not unlike "mercenary" or "pirate". My intention was to illicit colorful images of a specific sort of nomadic people that might be found in any number of gaming multiverses under any number of names. I share these small tables to help enrich people's role-playing games; I chose "gypsies" as a subject matter mainly because I think the Roma have a rich culture that many people still want to experience and tell stories about. Like it or not, those stories will often contain the word "gypsy" but I imagine that very few of them will be about hate. In my humble opinion, too many people these days seek to find offense in something before looking for anything else. Even so, that does nothing to excuse the harm done by my ignorance. I am sorry.
Have your PC's stolen from the tribe? (They really should have known to leave those wagons alone.) Have they gone back on a pact they made? Has one of them tried to bed the Matriarch's grand-daughter? Perhaps one of these curses has been inflicted upon another NPC who need the PC's help to get the curse lifted. However you choose to use them, here are 20 Curses from a Roma Matriarch. Happy Gaming!
May your bladder never allow you to sleep for more than two hours each night.
May both your finger nails and toe nails become infected with a rotting fungus.
May men always overlook you as unimportant and women never see you as trustworthy.
May every new pair of shoes that you get be one size too small.
May your pillow always smell foul.
May you be plagued by insects at the most inconvenient of times.
May your thighs sweat like a summer downpour.
May the sun always blind you at the most dangerous of times.
May you always smell like a sweating camel in a small room.
May a panther lick both of your eyeballs.
May your frustrations lead to fumbles, your fumbles lead to fears, and your fears lead to failure.
May your cold drinks always be too hot and your hot drinks, too cold.
May your ears constantly overflow with wax.
May your eyelids be forever filled with styes.
May your prince/princess forever be in another's castle.
May 100 spiders crawl into your mouth each night while you sleep.
May you pass the foulest gas imaginable anytime it is your true desire to impress someone.
May you tear every page of paper that you ever touch and get a paper cut each time.
May you experience a burning itch in the middle of your back that you cannot reach everytime you are fully dressed.
May the fleas from 1000 wolves infest your bedding forevermore.